Clueless

Technically, I was only 2 years old when this was came out at the cinemas, So don’t blame if I’ve just seen this epic movie this morning. They were comparing it to Mean Girls and Easy A and those two rocked so I figured, why the hell not.

I loved this. Albeit, slow paced and predictable I still really enjoyed it. And holy mother effing shit, like seriously, I was all ‘GOD. WHY IS ALICIA SILVERSTONE SO GORGEOUS? WHY?’ Cheesus. And I was totally fangirling over her all the damn time. 

And I think that’s the best part of it all. LMAO

Cast: Alicia Silverstone (Batman & Robin), Stacey Dash (A View from the Top), Brittany Murphy (8 Mile), Twink Caplan (Loser), Donald Faison (TV's Scrubs), Breckin Meyers (Can't Hardly Wait), Dan Hedaya (Swimfan)

Plot: Meet Cher (Silverstone), she's a beautiful, wealthy and popular Beverly Hills teens. She's normal and does shopping every day. We visit a short time in her life as she tries to find romance for 2 teachers, gets robbed and sexually assaulted by a popular jock, realizes she's in love... but with who, has a crush on a new male classmate who turns out to be gay and look cute to go shopping with her best friend Deon (Dash) as well as transform the "new girl" Tye (Murphy) in a popular kid!

Review: I must admit I thought "Clueless' was going to be a dumb witted teen comedy that had no laughs and would probably be just plain boring- that is until I saw it. This film (released in 1995) had me laughing really hard and is a pleasure to watch. Everyone has seen "Clueless" and the critics enjoyed it because it was a laugh a minute comedy. Silverstone brings the character of Cher to life and uses her brains and smarts to really capture the audience. Her comedic performance was also wonderful and showed she would have a bright career. The supporting performances were hilarious also. The film combined real teen issues from sex, to first time drivers and added a little humor to lighten the situation. Many of the jokes used in the film can sometimes be offensive but in all fun its a movie that doesnt really intend to offend anyone. The film also however shows breakout performances by some of Hollywood's hot young faces before they made it big including Murphy and Faison.

movie review by Jesse

Movie Review Contributions

Hi Everyone!

Sorry i haven't updated my blog lately. Been busy with work. But now I'll be posting short movie reviews contributed/written  by a good friend of mine named Jesse. Hope you'd like it.


Frances

You Again

Marni (Kristen Bell), a successful businesswoman, flies to her hometown to meet her brother’s fiancée. But when she discovers that the fiancée is the girl who bullied her in high school, the old rivalry is ignited and Marni’s nerdy past comes back to haunt her. 



You wouldn’t want to remember that part of your life when you were the number one target of hipper fashionistas in school. Yes, that period of your life when you were a social outcast, a pimply geek who was too embarrassed to even walk out of the house. But all’s fine now, because you are a successful figure at work, and you are held in high esteem by your colleagues and peers in the industry. Wait, this doesn’t sound familiar? Oh, you are still a nobody with any spectacular achievements in life? Then how did the female protagonist in this movie do it?
It’s a movie, that’s why. And a romantic comedy at that. So when everything comes to a nice fit in the end, you’d be scorning the dreary stuff that Hollywood throws in your face these days.
The female protagonist is a young girl who realises that her brother is about to marry the girl who bullied her in high school. Back then, she was a nerd with bad complexion and ugly glasses. Now that she has nice hair and pretty dresses, she is determined to expose the fiancée’s true colours at all cost. Throw in a mother (of the groom) and the aunt (of the bride) who happens to be loggerheads when they were young, and you get a girly rom com that involves catfights, screams and showdowns. The resultant effect? A comedy that comes across as a desperate attempt to milk laughs.
The plot development is mediocre at best, with its predictable twist of events, right up to the very last 105th minute of the movie. We wouldn’t consider this a spoiler, but having the girls patching up after a series of shrill screams and shots at tearing each other apart (figuratively and literally)? Yawn. There is really no need to prolong the drama beyond 80 minutes, in our humble opinion.
Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and Odette Yustman (The Unborn) play the bully and the bullied. The two young American actresses have their unique charms. A blonde haired sweetie and a jet black haired babe – both would have their own fan bases. It helps that both fresh faces are pleasing to the eye too. Veterans Jamie Lee Curtis (Freaky Friday) and Sigourney Weaver (Avatar) play the older pair of enemies. While it is hilarious to see the older women slugging out on screen, it does get tiresome after a while. Credit still goes to the two acclaimed actresses for effortlessly carrying off their roles. And yes, they do look gorgeous in their outfits, despite Curtis being 51 and Weaver being ten years older. Elsewhere, there is also comedienne and former game show host Betty White playing a grandmother who flashes some serious dance moves.


Cast:
Kristen Bell
Sigourney Weaver
Jamie Lee Curtis                                                                                                                                         
Odette Yustman
Betty White
Victor Garber
Kristin Chenoweth

Burlesque

When I think of the word burlesque, the only thing that really comes to mind is a strip club. I imagine the term was coined so that married men could get away with seeing strippers, on account that the proper term in one of these clubs would be burlesque dancers. See? It sounds so much more sophisticated than stripper . . . and here’s the kicker . . . it’s basically the same thing! Except during one of these shows, the women sing too! But wait, this seems like a great idea for a musical. Throw in two iconic pop-stars and we have a guaranteed hit! It’s the formula for Steven Antin’s Burlesque (which he both helmed and wrote the screenplay to) that’s just been released. But if it seems that we’ve seen this movie before . . . well, it’s because, in essence, we have.

Accompanied with a stereotypical country jam, Burlesque is introduced in a small, dead-end town, where local waitress, Ali (Christina Aguilera), who has big dreams of becoming a successful singer, is seen taking money from her employer’s cash register, which her cheapskate boss has owed her. She then travels to Los Angeles, in hopes of attaining her American Dream, where she runs into a small club by the name of “The Burlesque Lounge.” Interested, Ali decides to take a peek. Upon her entrance, she is transported to a place very reminiscent of a French World War II-era strip joint. Stunned she asks the ticket holder, “What is this place? A strip club?” To which he responds, “I should wash your mouth out with Jägermeister,” serving as a key indicator for the overall quality of Antin’s script.

And as you’ve probably guessed, if you’ve seen the trailers, pop superstar Cher plays the owner of the club, Tess, a former dancer and no-nonsense diva, who maintains the venue with Sean (Stanley Tucci), her suitably flamboyant best friend. Not surprisingly (as it’s been done as many times), it turns out that Tess is in a lot of debt and the club is in danger. In fact, it may even be shut down, as real-estate icon and world-class asshole, Marcus (Eric Dane), is gearing up to buy the place for his own selfish reasons. But in a last ditch effort, Tess hires Ali, who proves worthy of the stage, after one of her dancers, Georgia (Julianne Hough), announces that she’s pregnant and is forced to leave. However, Ali’s transformation from cunning country-gal to fabulous city-slicker proves to be rocky, and her newfound success strikes a sour note in Nikki (Kristen Bell), an egomaniacal dancer, whose drunkenness and vindictiveness sends her to the bottom of the food chain.

Among the sea of faces, all of which are caked up with eye-liner, lip stick, and whatever else you women use (I’m no expert), there’s Jack (Cam Gigandent) , some hipster bartender, who first talks to Ali and hands her a job at waiting tables. They slowly develop a romantic connection although Jack has a fiancé,Natalie (Dianna Agron)who's in New York, which is a sharp contrast to the mother-and-daughter relationship that Ali and Tess share.

Although I admit that I cheered like a middle-aged mom during both of Cher’s musical performances (both of which can be compared to her hit “Strong Enough”), there isn’t a lot to recommend in Burlesque. The performances are wooden, though Aguilera is better than expected, and the screenplay just reeks of horrid dialogue and poor pacing. Ali becomes incredibly bitchy and hard to like towards the film’s second-act, which seems to parallel her transformation. Just like Ali uses more and more makeup and indulges in designer shoes to hide her true-self, Burlesque becomes much too contrived, with more pop-driven leads (in contrast to 1950s-esque bangers). Both styles, however, are equally offensive to any die-hard feminist — with themes ranging from gold-digging to casual sex.

But there are some nice set-pieces and the costume design is decent, but it all comes down to the clichéd ending — the last nail in the film’s bedazzled coffin.

Steven Antin was probably expecting that by adding a shitload of scantly-clad women, all of which prance around and talk about screwing dudes, that he’d captivate the male audience, whereas Cher and Aguilera would make any females happy. Unfortunately, even an ample amount of breasts couldn’t distract me from the horrors of a poor film. Burlesque is nothing more than a poor man’s peep show.

Casts:

Christina Aguilera as Alice Marilyn "Ali" Rose

Cher as Tess

Eric Dane as Marcus Gerber

Cam Gigandet as Jack

Julianne Hough as Georgia

Alan Cumming as Alexis

Peter Gallagher as Vincent "Vince" Scali

Kristen Bell as Nikki

Stanley Tucci as Sean

Dianna Agron as Natalie

Glynn Turman as Harold Saint

David Walton as Mark the DJ

Terrence J as Dave

Chelsea Traille as Coco

Tyne Stecklein as Jessie

Tanee McCall as Scarlett

Blair Redford as James / Bumper Band Member

I Am Number Four

An extraordinary young man masks his true identity, passing himself off as a typical student to elude a deadly enemy intent on his destruction. Three like him have already been killed... he is Number Four.
Number Four/John Smith (Alex Pettyfer) looks like a normal teenager who has a pretty easy time getting blondes in bikinis to invite him for night-time rendezvous’ in the ocean. His secret is soon out when one of his kind, Number Three, is found and murdered by a group called the Mogadorians. That secret being that he is from another planet. Yes, an alien with special powers that he hasn’t quite come to master full control over just yet. Sound familiar? No? Ok, I’ll keep going. John is one of nine toddlers who were sent to Earth along with their protectors for their safety. Three are now dead, leaving six remaining. His guardian, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), also from the planet of Lorien is his sole adult influence and protector makes the decision it’s time to pack up and leave, again, from their home of Florida after a small mishap with that same blonde in the bikini exposes his true identity. Still not familiar? Ok, continuing on. 

They wind up in Ohio. Paradise, Ohio to be exact. They attempt, well, Henri attempts to maintain a low profile but of course John can’t stand being cooped up in the house all the time. Under warnings from his guardian, he sets off to school in an attempt to lead a normal life. Not too long into his new High School career, he meets three new people in his life. Sam (Callan McAuliffe) is your somewhat above typical school geek, Sara (Dianna Agron) who immediately presents the audience with the fact that she is going to be the love interest in this story and her bully ex-boyfriend, Mark (Jake Abel). He is the school quarterback who desperately wants his girl back which doesn’t bode so well for “John” after she begins to take a liking to him.

Anyway, due to some sort of spell the Mogadorians are forced to kill the nine remaining Lorien kids in the proper order. Who established the order and how? No idea. Wouldn’t you be pretty ticked off if you were Number One and became aware that you were chosen to be killed first? Perhaps the numbering system is completely random. Let’s make him Number One.”

Derivative though it is, there's enough insanity in I Am Number Four to make it more than worth a watch. It's not original and it's not clever, but even the most curmudgeonly viewer would have to admit that it's a fun piece of genre.


The special effects are where this film shines. It was actually this aspect about the film that made me change my mind about going to see it in the first place. We all know it’s about aliens, aliens who have superpowers and it’s based on a fiction novel. So making the unbelievable stunts and “they probably used a wire” sequences look believable was not an issue. These characters can do things that humans can’t. So watching John stop his darling Sarah from falling off of a roof in mid-air and then catching her before she hit the ground wasn’t going over the top. But it was done in very good quality. 


Although it is a teen-based story, the emphasis on the whole trying to fit in and falling in love thing was dragged way too far out. We’ve already been down that road with every other science-fiction/superhero piece of paper with words on it. Get to the part where they start doing the hard-to-believe stuff that I was speaking about. But alas, this film took a good while to get to that piece of the story. Almost the entire two hours to be exact. 

                                                                               
Alex Pettyfer-John Smith/Number Four
Dianna Agron- Sara Hart
Teresa Palmer- Number Six
Timothy Olyphant- Henri
Callan McAuliffe-Sam


Directed By:
D.J. Caruso


Produced By:
Steven Spielberg 

American Pie: THE BOOK of LOVE

Ten years after the first American Pie movie, three new hapless virgins discover the Bible hidden in the school library at East Great Falls High. Unfortunately for them, the book is ruined, and with incomplete advice, the Bible leads them on a hilarious journey to lose their virginity

American Pie Presents The Book of Love marks an obvious attempt to return to the series' high-school oriented roots, as the movie follows three horny teenagers (Bug Hall's Rob, Brandon Hardesty's Lube, and Kevin M. Horton's Nathan) as they doggedly attempt to lose their virginity over the course of a few particularly eventful weeks. Despite the best efforts of a game cast (and although it fares much, much better than its immediate predecessor), American Pie Presents The Book of Love primarily comes off as a typically low-rent and flat-out needless straight-to-video endeavor - with the pervasive lack of laughs ultimately exacerbating the film's myriad of problems. Screenwriter David H. Steinberg offers up eye-rollingly over-the-top comedic set-pieces that become more and more desperate as the movie unfolds (ie a character is raped by a moose), yet it's the absence of compelling characters and the almost uniformly hackneyed nature of the various storylines that inevitably cements American Pie Presents The Book of Love's undeniable downfall. In terms of the former, the protagonists are generally presented as one-dimensional sleazeballs whose ongoing exploits possess few elements designed to capture and sustain the viewer's interest (ie everything here, from Rob's desire to pursue a romantic relationship with his female best friend to Lube's efforts at bedding a classmate who's way out of his league, has been done many times over in other, better movies with far more skill and subtlety). The dearth of positive attributes subsequently ensures that American Pie Presents The Book of Love is unlikely to appeal to even the most ardent American Pie fan, and it's finally impossible not to view the continued existence of these movies as a shameless cash-grab by the studio.

Casts:

Bug Hall as Rob

Kevin M. Horton as Nathan

Brandon Hardesty as Lube

Beth Behrs as Heidi

Melanie Papalia as Dana

Jennifer Holland as Ashley

John Patrick Jordan as Scott Stifler

Eugene Levy as Noah Levenstein

Official Trailer:

Fired Up

“Fired Up” is essentially undiluted generic storytelling peppered by the odd effective moment of improve and lashings of acid tongued wit. In several small doses it might actually feel like a decent film but when digested as a full feature it’s a distinctly stark and barren experience. There are little oasis’s of comedic relief strewn throughout but overall “Fired Up” is an arduous trek through a harsh desert of predictable storytelling and teen movie templates. You’ll need to be something of a cinematic survivalist to enjoy the entire experience, that’s for sure.

Nick (Eric Christian Olsen) and Shawn (Nicholas D’Agosto) are the two most popular jocks in school, but another summer of an all male and intensely gruelling football camp doesn’t sound that appealing. So in a bid to create a more flavoursome season they decide to go to cheerleading camp, packed to the roof with hot girls with Nick and Shawn the only single and heterosexual guys on campus. They slot into their school team “The Tigers” and whilst most of the squad buy Nick and Shawn’s feigned enthusiasm captain Carly (Sarah Roemer) isn’t so sure. However as the camp kicks of and the inter school competition heats up she and Shawn begin to get close, much to the disdain of skirt chasing Nick. After enjoying his fill of woman by the camps halfway point Nick wants out but Shawn infatuated by Carly thinks they should stay and help their struggling team, leaving their friendship in an awkward position.

“Fired Up” would have been very much at home in the 80’s and late 90’s and now thanks to the success of 2007’s “Superbad” it looks like the current climate is set to be a staple in the teen movie timeline. The Apatow revival of the genre has kick started this pocket milking trend once more and whilst it will inevitably run out of its limited artistic steam and financial potential within two years, right now it’s cool to be making teen orientated flicks. “Fired Up” isn’t at the very nadir of the genre but it’s an utterly forgettable and borderline tedious experience, riddled with some minor moments of fun hi-jinks but mostly bogged down by soggy scripting and a patchy gag rate. Plus the performances are unsurprisingly a whisker short of average, never mind revolutionary.

One of the most distracting aspects of the film is the fact that the leading men are meant to be about 17 but in reality they’re either side of 30. D’Agosto is 28 and Olsen 31 and seeing as neither demonstrates much in the way of flair I have to ask why casting wasn’t done closer to age. I’m used to seeing 21 and 22 year olds play teenagers but that is at times visually acceptable, with the leading pair they haven’t been teens for at least a decade and it shows to the point of annoyance. Despite looking ridiculously mature for the parts Olsen and D’Agosto also fail to do anything remotely memorable with them, they’re chemistry is so-so but the comedy pratfalls and routines they ping around are absurdly half hearted. It goes without saying that the film fails to build Nick and Shawn into anything else but sporty clowns but what is more offensive is that the creative team also fails to make them likable. Nick in particular is a top grade asshole and not a character the viewer is likely to empathise with.

As the head of the cheer camp John Michael Higgins easily scores the films most assured and entertaining moments whilst around him other support slowly dies in the pulsating heat of mediocrity. Sarah Roemer was nothing more than a token babe with attitude in “Disturbia” and she replicates that here (Though “Disturbia” was a far superior film) whilst Anna Lynne McCord gives a fabulously lazy turn as a bitchy cheer nemesis. Other semi-famous names also feature including Danneel Harris (also guilty of playing teenagers at nearly 30) and Phillip Baker Hall, though none make much of an impression.

The jokes aren’t particularly inspired and the films attempts at irreverent improvisation often feel forced and stale. On a few occasions Olsen managed to display a modestly quick wit and cook up some sweet comedy relief but at other junctures he goes too far and sours proceedings with his unnecessary vamping. For a PG-13 movie I was shocked by how few poop and fart jokes “Fired Up” launches at the audience but it makes them up in tame penis references and over emphasised regaling of sexual conquest. Also for a movie in which are heroes are meant to be romantic dynamos all the viewer is treated to are a few make out scenes and implied oral sex, hardly the stuff that made Casanova legend.

The film cribs from “Bring it On” and expects a direct reference to said movie to excuse the theft, it might in legal terms but not in the statutory book of good entertainment. In terms of quality those movies are pretty much on equal ground, namely that they’re hit rate with quality gags is inconsistent and from every other stand point boredom is the most likely reaction. The most undemanding of viewers might enjoy “Fired Up” and its very slight roster of impressive material, forgiving the narrative shortcomings because it’s “just an airheaded cheerleading movie”. Well I’d just rather that type of feature didn’t exist in the first place, certainly that’s not what made John Hughes and Judd Apatow power this genre in their respective eras with such delicious success.

Director: Will Gluck

Writer: Freedom Jones

Cast includes: Eric Christian Olsen, Nicholas D’Agosto, Sarah Roemer, John Michael Higgins, Molly Sims, Danneel Harris, Anna Lynne McCord